My Life at the intersection of Estrogen & Ego
Healer and Human
Being a psychologist means living in the paradox of healer and human. I spend my days guiding others toward clarity, yet my own life is a layered tapestry of contradictions. I am codependent, perimenopausal, navigating acquired ADHD, and deeply empathic. These identities do not cancel one another out; they collide, overlap, and sometimes overwhelm me. They shape how I experience the world, how I love, and how I lead.
A Chapter Full of Change
Perimenopause has introduced a new rhythm to my body and mind waves of fatigue, mood swings, and unexpected vulnerability. At the same time, the late onset of acquired ADHD reframes my last 4 years of self-perception. What I once identified as cognitive slippage that eroded my self-confidence now has a name and with that comes both relief and responsibility. My empathic nature intensifies these challenges. I absorb emotions like a sponge, often blurring the line between my own needs and the needs of others. Codependency thrives in that blur, pulling me toward over-functioning and self-neglect.
Spousal Impact
Marriage adds another dimension to this complexity. My husband is a middle school teacher, neurodivergent with ADHD, and a pastoral counselor whose love for technology borders on obsession. His brilliance and creativity are undeniable, but his narcissistic traits often clash with my empathic tendencies. Where I bend, he asserts. Where I absorb, he deflects. Our dynamic is a constant negotiation between connection and boundary, intimacy and independence. His pastoral role adds yet another layer our conversations oscillate between theology, pedagogy, and the practicalities of daily life, often leaving me both inspired and exhausted.
Clash or Co-exist?
Professionally, these personal struggles sharpen my perspective. I know what it means to wrestle with identity, to feel fragmented, to balance the weight of others’ needs against my own fragile equilibrium. My clients see a psychologist who understands not only from textbooks but from lived experience. My empathy, though draining at times, becomes a bridge. My ADHD, though disruptive, sparks creativity. Even my codependency, when recognized and managed, fuels a relentless commitment to care.
The journey is not tidy. It is messy, cyclical, and deeply human. Yet within the mess lies meaning. I am learning to set boundaries, to honor my body’s changes, to embrace neurodivergence as part of my story rather than a flaw. Marriage, though challenging, teaches me resilience and the art of holding space for difference. My professional life, enriched by these struggles, becomes a testament to authenticity.
In the end, being a codependent, perimenopausal, acquired ADHD, empath psychologist married to a narcissistic, neurodivergent, technology-loving teacher-pastoral counselor is not a contradiction, it’s a calling. It is the lived reminder that healing is not about perfection but about presence, courage, and the willingness to transform pain into wisdom.
With love and gratitude,
